I have a friend that lives in Pennsylvania named Michael, and he wrote such a moving story I had to share it with my friends and family.
The year is 5025XX. I live in the luxury underground tunnel of 420BI. I woke up that morning to the soothing sounds of our glorious leader shouting "YOU'RE FIRED!" through the colossal speakers that the Apprentices, (that's what the great leader calls his council) installed. After the long and taxing task of kneeling toward the great Trump monument in Mecca and reciting the 5 hour long anthem, I was ready to get this day going. I go to my job at the money printing factory that funnels the money directly into the glorious leaders mouth, giving him an inconceivable amount of power and life force. I work at the factory for roughly 250 hours and get my hearty pay of 5 Trump Bucks™. "I can finally afford the new Trump Toupee™!" I said excitedly. I quickly ran to be local Trump Emporium™ where I saw the 3 square mile store dedicated to Trump styled toupees. It was truly a sight to behold. It was teeming with people and Trump memorabilia. I bought the biggest and most guinea pig-esque one I could get my hands on. That's when I saw him.
The man himself Donald Trump followed closely be his Apprentices. He strolls in cooler than cucumber on ice, almost like he owns the place. Oh wait, he does. He owns everything we've come to love including all our souls. Donald proceeded to say in that heavenly nasally voice, "I have an announcement everyone." No one moved, he had full attention in the entire emporium. You could hear a pin drop. "I have decided I will be running for in the 5029XX election." The crowd erupted in applause for the glorious leader. People cried tears of joy and kneeled for him. "Now let us all recite the anthem, but make it snappy I have dinner with Kanye in 5."
Oh Donald we love you so
We try to escape, but we can't let go
Oh Donald I'd give my life for you
I'd bend down and kiss your shoe
Oh Donald we'll never get tired
If someone disagrees, well, "THEY'RE FIRED"
CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP
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